whimsicallyanni

Friday, July 14, 2006 dancingdancingdancingdancing

Finally got my blog started up once more. Today is that last day of my 5 weeks internship at my advertising agency.. I thought i would really enjoy working there 5 weeks ago but somehow i didnt. This is extremely contradictory because most of the people there are Very nice and all of them are cat lovers, so we have a common interest. But somehow i realise working with perfectionists(one of my colleague) is really very hard because I am an extremely laid back person and i cannot conform to rules very well.

Some incidents that i faced.
- We had different ways of working and during times when i didnt do it the way this person would have done, I would have tried to follow this person's way of doing it. and it is quite daunting
- fierce persona. makes it hard for me to approach this person.
- Sometimes dealing with this person is enough to fill me for the entire day, without really trying to figure how things work in my company and thus i still dunno 100% of what is going on in the daily operations.
- Difficulties in communication. We seem to be on different wave lengths and somehow i cannot understand this person, no matter how hard i tried. And this person also cannot understand me. because when he/she realsie that i am not "getting" her idea, he/she will try to explain to me in the idiot-proof and i mean really "idiot-proof". i felt like an idiot, really. There could be other ways of explaining to me then treating me as an idiot right?.

But most of the time(Except for today, the last day. I kept quiet but i was blowing up inside), i would think it is my fault and try to anticipate her way of thinking but it doesnt really work out all the time. Or maybe people have high expectations of me and if i cannot perform up to expectations, i will really piss them off and myself too.

Another thing i hate about myself is, i allowed myself to be easily flustered and having a really bad memory.. The tall big strappy me is actually very easily scared. If my boss is fierce, i might just be as quiet as a mouse.. and things they have said before, they have to repeat one more time for me to recall. But memory can be trained. the former point is permanent i think. sighs.

But all that aside, i think she is one of the most witty and capable women i ever seen. And still, i hold her in high regards.

WHen i first joined the company,i thought i would leave happily. I did leave feeling relieved but not happy because i chose to give up my internship before it reaches the designated date. I can give all kinds of reasons i want, the work dont suit me, there are people i cannot get along with, i got a poor understanding of the person/work. etc etc..BUT the fact is. i have given up on my own accord.

And i really hate that feeling.

plain cheesecake
at10:16 PM

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